The Post-Times

World Press Agency
Washington, DC
April 15, 2009

This afternoon Senator Dodd and Representative Barney Frank, two powerful Congressional Democrats in charge of the Finance Committees, were scheduled to hold a press conference. Neither of them showed. Instead, eyewitnesses report, at 11:45 am four men in black clothes, wearing black stocking masks attacked them at the deli where they are known to eat lunch.

What began as a normal day was suddenly flung into chaos by the well-planned assault. “It was terrible,” Wendy Calhoun, a waitress at Phil-N-Buster’s Deli was crying as she told us, “First, all the security guys got hit with darts and fell down. Then a big van pulled up and these guys… you know the one’s everyone has been talking about… the Robin Hood guys… they jumped out, grabbed the Congressmen and were gone…”

Less than 15 minutes later both men were found without physical injuries. The same probably could not be said for their egos, however. Park Rangers found the Congressmen in their underwear, duct taped to each other in front of the Vietnam War Memorial. The words “liberty” and “honor” had been written on their chests.

As Chairmen of their respective Congressional finance committees, both men have been criticized for not making more noise about the fact that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were passing bad paper. A fact they were well aware of and told few outside of Washington. Senator Dodd has also been criticized for authoring a bill, apparently without knowing it, which allowed executives at AIG to receive bonuses on the taxpayer dime.

Special Agent Tom Riggens of the FBI made a statement after being appointed lead investigator on the case.

“I do not care whether you call these men vigilantes, terrorists, or Mary Poppins… I call them perps. The previous two attacks were acts of theft, assault, and destruction of property, but this, today, this was an attack on elected government officials. There is only one word for that crime; treason. These men are traitors to the government of the United States of America. I will bring them to justice.”

What is justice for a group of men targeting the people responsible for the economic meltdown of America? A parade?

JD Adler
WPA

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World Press Association
April 8, 2009

Last week four men in black clothes broke into the Philadelphia offices of AIG and robbed their executives at gunpoint. Ranting about liberty while they did it. Yesterday four men in black clothes burned down the houses of convicted felon Bernie Madoff, and accused felon Richard Fuld; both men former financial superstars whose falls are closely linked to the current financial crisis.

The FBI would not comment on ongoing investigations, other than to say all possibilities were being considered. Witnesses interviewed by this service provided descriptions very similar to those provided at the AIG assault.

Common elements include; black, military clothing, US flag patches on the left shoulder, a variety of weapons, speeches about liberty and freedom, and no physical injuries to anyone.

Witnesses at the Madoff house saw the men fleeing after the fire had been set, presumably to get to the Fuld house. At the Fuld house they broke in, cleared out all the family members and staff, and then set fire to the property. As the house burned one of the men stepped forward and spoke to the family until the sirens approached.

“It was so bizarre,” one of the staff explained, asking not to be named for fear of her safety, “He started waving his hand in the air and accusing us of crimes… murder, treason, theft…tyranny… he called us tyrants, I don’t even run the kitchen.” Family members were unreachable for comment.

Bernie Madoff was an investment broker made famous for running the largest Ponzi scheme in history on charities, banks, and some small nations. The financial crisis caused the bottom to fall out and his marks lost billions. He has since been convicted of several felonies.

Richard Fuld was an investment banker, Chairman of Lehman Brothers when it failed due to his decision to invest more of their money in sub-prime mortgages than any other single investor and refusal to sell the company, three times, once they were in trouble. He was highly criticized for receiving a $22 million bonus in 2007 just before bankruptcy was declared. There are currently ongoing fraud investigations against him in New York and New Jersey.

Repeated calls to the FBI and Justice department for comment on these apparent serial, interstate attacks on those at the heart of the financial crisis remain answered only by the practiced line, “We have our best people on it.”

Who are these “best people”? Who are these men in black clothes? Who should we be rooting for?

JD Adler
WPA

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