'Merry Band' crashes Stock Exchange
New York, NY
World Press Association
April 21, 2009
The brazen band of men who have been nicknamed “modern day Robin Hoods” by the media, including this Blog, struck again last night. This time against the heart of America’s financial infrastructure; the New York Stock Exchange and Euronext building.
There were few witnesses to the 3:00 am attack; a taxi driver, a few homeless people, and a security guard from the NYSE building. While details are sketchy and contradictory among the witnesses, they do agree on a few important points. They describe a dark station wagon stopping in front of the Broadway entrance to the building, the now familiar four men in black clothes getting out and removing a rocket launcher from the rear hatch of the vehicle. Next, 5 to 7 missiles were fired at the front of the building. Whatever did happen, there is no doubt that the several columns and all the windows are broken this morning and no one is allowed inside. Trading has been temporarily suspended by the President. No injuries were reported from the middle of the night attack.
FBI Special Agent Riggens was on scene all morning investigating and speaking to the press. “These men seem to think that by attacking other Americans they can somehow resolve our current problems, but all they are accomplishing is making matters worse. They are not heroes. They are criminals, and like all criminals they are cowards hiding. They hide behind masks, they hide behind the cover of dark, and they hide behind anonymity. The press attempts to glorify them by nicknaming them after folk heroes, but look at who they attack. They attack our elected representatives and our financial centers… these men aren’t folk heroes, they are domestic terrorists!”
A citizen in the crowd shouted a question to Agent Riggens, “If they are domestic terrorists then they are American Citizens. Do you know that for a fact, or are you just assuming that because who else would be this mad at this group of people?” To which the crowd laughed and applauded, causing Agent Riggens to walk away angrily.
To date these men have attacked the board of AIG, the homes of Bernie Madoff and Dick Luft, Congressmen Frank and Dodd, and now the NYSE. What began as a humorous prank on those who seemed most directly responsible for our fiscal woes has become an all out war on the pillars of the American economic system. Which must leave members of the American elite wondering, who will they target next?
JD Adler
WPA